The Zadge is sitting here watching the NFL Draft live, wondering if Barry Sanders is really as short as he looks.
As she is sure all you female readers are doing too! Riigght.
She thought about doing a blog recap of the Draft, just as she would for the Oscars and the Globes but realized that no one but Hulk would understand a word she said. And there are no dresses to criticize. All the guys look HOT.
Oh, but there is one player she’s got to mention just because of his awesome name: Barkevious Mingo. BARKEVIOUS! THAT is what the Zadge should have named Harry!! A mischevious barker!
So instead of putting all her female readership to sleep, she’ll seek their advice on a dating dilemma.
See, after the Kaiser’s visit, the Zadge, who had dumped Match.com after her last dating disaster, decided to sign up for eHarmony. The Kaiser had recently had success on eHarmony, meeting a woman he likes a lot, whereas his Match.com experience had been as bad as the Zadge’s. Other friends encouraged the Zadge to give eHarmony a chance, since it seemed to work better than Match.
So late Sunday night, the Zadge signed up. And by Monday morning, her inbox was flooded with potential “matches.” But the Zadge was a little overwhelmed and confused by the eHarmony process, which requires all sorts of steps and stages before you can actually communicate one-on-one.
Anyhoo, the Zadge was sitting at her desk at the Top Secret Day Job that morning when a male friend of hers at work, who happens to be a dating divorced dad, comes in her office with a big smile on his face. ”What?” the Zadge says. ”Did you see we were matched this morning?” ”WHAT?!” the Zadge shrieks, “You weren’t in my matches! Oh god, I can’t figure this shit out. Please explain how this works.”
So Dating Dad had the Zadge log onto her eHarmony account and proceeded to walk her through the process. When the photos of her potential matches popped up, Dating Dad said, “Hey, that’s Denny! I know that guy – good guy.” Denny was a guy the Zadge had instantly decided had no potential, due to his majorly suburban, church going, divorced dad lifestyle, in contrast to the Zadge’s urban, heathen, single girl lifestyle. Then he pointed to another photo and said, “OMG, I know that guy too! Phil! Dated my best friend for a year. Fun, charming guy, but not your guy.” Phil was the only guy in her matches that the Zadge had emailed back.
So the Zadge and Dating Dad chatted for several minutes about the pluses and minuses of Denny and Phil. And her friend recommended she go out with Denny and not go out with Phil. Which is the complete opposite of what she intended to do. Now mind you, Phil is actively pursuing the Zadge on the site and Denny, who checked out the Zadge’s profile, is not.
So peeps, what say you? Contact Denny? Ignore Phil? Contact Denny and go out with Phil? Cancel eHarmony subscription immediately and just spend the next three months taking Barkevious Mingo everywhere to use him as a prop to meet dates?