The Zadge had a fun weekend.
She spent Friday morning with Darth Vadar and his light saber, getting the age spots on her face burned off. She’s sure her dermatologist won’t mind her referring to him as the Dark Lord. This was a relatively inexpensive light saber, with no downtime or bruising or oozing or swelling. The Zadge was back at the Top Secret Day Job an hour later, looking no worse for wear.
But while she was in Darth’s office, she decided to go bold and schedule an appointment in a few months to actually have the Dark Lord use his light saber to laser off all of her face wrinkles. In technical Star Wars lingo, it’s called a ProFractional Laser and the results are pretty spectacular. Apparently, the Zadge’s skin will look like a baby’s butt, without the diaper rash.
Except that to get to the baby butt skin, the Zadge is going to have to bleed and ooze and swell and look like this for almost a week:
Well, hopefully Darth won’t turn her into a man. And natural beauty doesn’t come cheap or pain free, my friends.
On Saturday night, the Zadge ate, drank and danced to a band to celebrate the birth of her newest BFF, Penne from Little Girl Big Glasses. Well, it’s not like Penne was just pushed out of her mother’s va-jay-jay that Saturday. Because boozing and dancing it up in front of a rock-a-billy band until one o’clock in the morning with a newborn would be weird, wouldn’t it?
Birthday Penne
So the Zadge doesn’t have any good photos of the party festivities, which included fine dining, and not so fine drinking, and laughing, and more low-brow drinking, and dancing with a cute guy to Neil Diamond’s “Sweet Caroline” at 1 a.m. performed by a country-rock band. But she does have this photo of Penne’s dear hubby and how proud he is of his 24-ounce can of Pabst Blue Ribbon:
Then Sunday rolled around and how did our Irish Lass celebrate St. Patrick’s Day?
Caulking her tub:
Yes, that’s a Bloody Mary. And no, it didn’t affect her ability to lay down some seriously good caulk.
And this would be where the “caulk” jokes start. Lay ‘em down.
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Actually, I’m very impressed with your drunken caulking.
It looks great.
I also love the photo of penne squimishly anticipating that guy reaching into her head to pull her brain out. On her birthday.
I had to tackle that guy before he could get his hands on that brilliant brain.
Thanks again for that! Freaking zombies are everywhere.
So happy you joined us for my Redneck Birthday. I bet your readers don’t realize I’m that blurry in real life.
Lasers scare me, except I’ve been sucked in too. I start laser hair removal next week. Yikes.
I don’t have a caulk joke, but I have many caulk questions. One is if you used tape to get the caulk straight, or if you rubbed it out with your fingers?
JaniceP, that actually DOES sound like a caulk joke! But the answer is I used tape. And then my fingers. Insert joke here.
Handling the caulk is usually more successful when you rub it out with your fingers. At a medium pace.
Good work sistah; I’m a finger girl with the caulk myself! Also, I must have a confab with you and Penne when I visit Denver. Which, cannot come soon enough based on how things are going here.
Sista, the doors at Old Vicky are always open for you!
Will The Zadge be taking a week off work for the recovery. I’m interested.
Did JaniceP really do that by accident?!
Oh yes, the Zadge will be taking a week off. Ain’t no one seeing her bloody, oozy visage looking like THAT.
I’ll never tell.
I GOTTA BIG…
BIG CAULK IN THE TUB DOESN’T…
IT’S HARD TO FIND A GAL WHO CAN WORK WITH A BIG…
Ahhh, too easy. Never mind…
Hulk my dear, you can see how well I handle my caulk.
Well, while that is probably true I’m afraid I’m gonna need more than just your word…
Next time you need caulk, here’s what to do… If you fill your tub, and leave it filled, until your caulk cures, it won’t shrink and shrivel. No, it doesn’t matter how cold the water is.
I hope you don’t mean to fill it with my Bloody Marys because there ain’t no caulk good enough for that.
WHOA. LOOK AT MY BIG PICTURE. But it hides part of my words. Shit.
You know what they say: Big Photo…Big….Caulk. I have my webmaster working on the suddenly large photos, although I kind of like them!
Zadge, I am fussy with the caulk-what brand do you use?
There are a lot of folks who would like to have a caulk job that fine.
I guess you could’ve used your tongue instead of your finger.
I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that you can caulk your tub while having a cocktail. You’re the Mayor of Everything. Penne! She rocks.