You know it’s a good party when there are TWO wine spills on your furniture.

Guess who is excited about the return of Downton Abbey?

Guess who is so excited that she threw a Downton Abbey Season Three viewing party last night at Old Vicky?

Yes! Lady Zadge!

FLAPPER ZADGE

Cheers to Downton!

Actually, the Zadge was supposed to co-host the party with the Hazz, but the poor Hazz went and got all bed-ridden the day of the party with an awful virus.  She thought about coming as Lavinia on her death bed losing her battle with the Spanish Influenza, but the Zadge told her it was too late and Matthew had moved on to that “uppity minx,” Lady Mary.

Even in the face of the Hazz’s Spanish Influenza, the Zadge had to Keep Calm and Carry On.  So she threw on the flapper dress she bought for $30 at a vintage store, donned a feathery headband on her newly-shorn bobbed hair, wrapped her hot pink boa around her shoulders and got down to the serious party-planning.

She thought about serving the guests period-appropriate food.  But then she thought, who the hell wants to eat aspic and pheasant?

So she opted for salad (mixed greens with pomegranate, walnuts and goat cheese in an avocado-vinaigrette) and home made pizza (Margherita, Mushroom & Onion, and Pepperoni) and mini cupcakes for dessert.

Oh, and don’t forget the Zadge’s signature cocktail – Prosecco with St. Germain and Raspberries.

The Zadge invited some of her fellow Downton-philes and encouraged 1920′s attire.  The Zadge’s fabulous hairdresser and his partner embraced the idea, sporting black tie tails and a yummy velvet smoking jacket and matching bow tie:

Others donned fur capelets and cloche hats:

After some food and cocktails, everyone settled in to watch the two-hour premiere. And the Zadge has a few comments to make about the newest season:

• Mary is a bitch.  She just is.  And her eyebrows are radically uneven.
• Matthew’s eyes sort of freak the Zadge out -they are such a light blue color that it reminds the Zadge of a wolf.  Or a vampire.
• And he’s gotten a tad bit cocky this season, has he not?
• Speaking of vampires, pasty-faced Thomas looks like one.
• The Zadge wonders how many quaaludes Lady Cora takes a day.
• The Zadge did not love Mary’s wedding dress.
• The Zadge does love Violet.  Totally and completely.
• Sybil needs a better bob.  Not a better a tom.  A better bob – that wig is awful.
• And yes, the whole room gasped at the British Roofie revelation.

Of course, Lady Zadge just had to have a drinking game at the party. Because she’s 48 and mature that way.

She typed up a bunch of “Downton” words on slips of paper, put them in a hat and had everyone pick two words each.  Every time the word was spoken during the show, the person with that word had to drink, raise their glass and say “To Downton!”

Some words were said A LOT more than others.  So for those who pulled the more popular words (the Zadge was one of them with “Carson” and “house” but nowhere near the poor guest who had “Wedding”), let’s just say the later half of the evening got, ahem, blurry and interesting:

MIDNIGHT AT OLD VICKY

LADY KARAOKE SLUT

LORD AND OH MY LORDY LORDY

LADY DRUNK ZADGE

BUTLER “HE AIN’T NO CARSON” HARRY

FOOTMAN “HE AIN’T NO THOMAS” BUGS

It was a fabulous evening, even though Lady Drunk Zadge didn’t get to sleep until 1 a.m. on a school night.

And then, when she woke up bleary-eyed Monday morning to go to work, and walked the dogs, and made herself some tea, and took a shower, THIS is what greeted her when she walked down the stairs to go to work:

BOLLOCKS!