It’s with a sad heart that the Zadge lets you know that she has to break off a very special relationship in her life.
Don’t worry, she will still be the fake-girlfriend to Keith Richards and Daniel Craig. Keef in particular, at his advanced age, probably couldn’t handle a break up.
As the Zadge has mentioned, both of Lizzie’s parents are incarcerated and she is being raised by her grandmother, along with her 12-year old sister and 13-year old brother, all in a tiny, two-bedroom place. Lizzie has to sleep on the couch. And Lizzie’s grandmother, a poorly-educated, 60-something-year old woman raised on an Indian reservation, works her ass off six days a week as a nurse’s aide trying to support the family.
You know, one of those people taking handouts that the Democrats love the Zadge says with dripping sarcasm and daggers sent to those obnoxious, old, white-man, elitist Republicans who have never felt compassion or gotten off their fat, rich asses to help anyone beneath them.
Okay, so the Zadge digresses a bit.
Anyhoo, over the past few months, Lizzie’s poor family has started spiraling out of control. Both of her siblings are struggling mightily in school, and both have been arrested, one for fighting (the sister) and one for breaking and entering (the brother). And they are fighting with each other. And disrespecting the grandmother, who barely had control of this posse of almost-feral children to begin with. And Lizzie, who turns 9 in January, has started getting mouthier and more disrespectful to the Zadge. And there’s a bunch of other stuff the Zadge can’t really blog about but it involves the Zadge calling the police and getting way too emotionally involved with this fragile family.
Over the past few months, the Zadge has found her role as a mentor to Lizzie more and more emotionally draining. She is trying her damnest to show Lizzie a different way of life, and in the process, her two siblings. Because the Zadge is a Go Big or Go Home sort of girl. She doesn’t do things halfway. When she decides to do something, whether it be exercising, or entertaining, or mentoring, she goes 110%. Which has meant throwing herself into this mentor-role and into not just Lizzie, but her whole family.
But she can’t take it anymore.
The family is falling apart. And the Zadge recognizes her own bossy, first-born, control-freak instincts to “save” Lizzie, and her sister, and her brother. But she also knows from her first-hand experience with her work in the Top Secret Day Job in D.C., that she can’t save this family. That there is a path that they are heading down, inevitably involving foster care, and youth detention, and teen pregnancy, and drugs, and nothing – NOTHING – the Zadge does will be able to stop it.
The Zadge was an idealist in her youth. Real life has sucked the idealism out of her. She is now a realist. And that realist has decided that her heart can’t continue to watch this family disintegrate in front of her helpless self.
She tried. She gave Lizzie and her family time, love, money and, she thought, hope. It’s the best she can do. Because she’s realized she can’t single-handedly save the world. So she is bringing Lizzie her Christmas presents this weekend and breaking up with her and her family.