It’s the first week of December, the kick-off of the Christmas season, and it’s 70 freakin’ degrees in Denver. And has been for days and days. The Zadge is talking t-shirt and shorts, and hello low electric bill, and oh yeah, global warming isn’t real you dumb-ass Rush Limbaugh.
Not that the Zadge is complaining because a) she hates winter, so the longer it stays away the better, and b) by the time the global warming catastrophe actually hits so that Christmas 2212 in Denver is really like noon in a blazing sun in August in D.C. 2012, the Zadge will be, shall we say, not really that interested because she will be DEAD.
But it’s sort of hard to get all elvish, and Johnny Mathis-y, and snowy for the Christmas cheer when it feels like May. But the Zadge gave it the ole North Pole try this weekend. She lit up Old Vicky on the outside, so she’d look welcoming and classy for a 116-year old girl: Wherein “she lit up Old Vicky” means our gal hired someone to climb that big ass tree and string those lights because there is no way this girl with her fear of heights is climbing that sucker.
She could, however, handle this smaller 6 foot tree inside of Old Vicky. And this is what she has to say about the lights: the Zadge likes the white lights that are fashionable for Christmas trees these days. She does. So don’t get all whup-ass on her when she tells you that she thinks they are a little…boring. And the same. As in, every family’s tree looks like everyone else’s. And if there is one thing the Zadge hates, it’s being like everyone else.
And what happened to the multi-color tree of our youth? Remember? And with the big bulbs? Anyone still doing it? Anyone???
Anywho, the point is that two years ago, the Zadge opted to do a Blue Tree. Well, mainly blue with some punches of pink and purple and silver highlights. She loved it at the time, but now, two years later, she is sort of sick of her Blue and Silver Themed tree. So she’s thinking she’s got to bust out next year with something new. Maybe an artificial white tree, with all white, silver and light blue accents? Wait, did she just hear herself say “artificial tree?” Because that ain’t happening in Old Vicky.
And while she may get sick of her Christmas tree-scape, she’ll never get sick of her favorite ornament, which was the Sista’s Christmas card last year: Or hanging a new stocking on the fireplace because Bugsy is now part of the family:
And who knows? Maybe next year, in addition to a new tree-scape, the Zadge will have to hang a new stocking because she has a new man! After all, if an old fat man can fit down a chimney and be flown all around the world by magic reindeer, maybe the Zadge can land a keeper!
Oh right, that’s all make-believe. Sigh.