No, the Zadge is not in Afghanistan reporting on why a Marine General overseeing a grueling war has time to write 20,000 pages of “inappropriate” emails to some married military groupie in Florida.
But really, she thinks she would be good at doing so. Better than the Denver ABC news channel that ran this photo of General Petraeus’ lover’s book, thinking it was real:
No, the Zadge is reporting from the war zone known as Internet Dating.
You see, the Zadge was supposed to have Match.com Date Number 2 tonight, with the 6’4″ former-college swimmer. They were supposed to meet at 6 p.m. for drinks at a restaurant near the Top Secret Day Job. The Zadge hit the gym around 3 to get a workout in and be fresh for her date. Except that while she was working out, she got this eerie sensation that Mr. Swimmer was going to cancel.
Now, there is a bit of history with Mr. Swimmer. When the Zadge was on Match.com several years ago, Mr. Swimmer contacted her and asked her out. The Zadge agreed and then Mr. Swimmer never followed through with a specific plan. Typical for the dating war zone the Zadge was battling.
So when she saw his email this time expressing interest, she remembered him. And his flakiness from years earlier. But, she thought she’d give him a second try.
When she hit the locker room to shower after her workout she checked her phone. And here was the email Mr. Swimmer sent her at 4:30 p.m.
Wish I had traded numbers or emails with you….I dont think I can shake away so early tonight…I am the head swimming coach at [local school], and today is national signing day for recruiting…need to stay close to my desk for a bit….
The Zadge noted the ambiguity in his email – what? was he cancelling completely? was he running late? What?
The Zadge replied shortly before their appointed meeting time – all breezy and whatnot, that it was no problem! Hope you signed Missy Franklin! Let’s reschedule! Tomorrow night or Sunday night! Well, she didn’t really use so many exclamation points.
And Nation, here was Mr. Swimmer The Flake’s response:
appreciate your flexibility…we got a no from missy. you can buy me drink for that.
Mr. Swimmer aka The Flake aka Ambiguity Man had struck again. So the Zadge is just sitting here, seeking cover from the drone attacks in the Internet Dating War Zone, wondering if she should even reply. Her instincts right now are no.
And she thinks she has a lot better instincts that certain 4-star Generals running our military and CIA.
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If he wants to go out, he’ll text back. I would definitely not respond to that. Even if he’s got a great personality, that communication pattern will drive you nuts.
I might have just saunterned on over to the school and put in MY application.
Call him on his bluff , if it is.
I think I might also start with coffee on Sunday mid morning when he won’t be busy
unless he is married. He surely has a definite FREE time….another idea is have him call you from
a restaurant when he actually is bodily there and THEN run over to meet him.
who put that extra ‘n’ in sauntered?
maybe I was thinking walk and wine…..I think it just may be a new word
walking while wined. geeesh !
So he made a date on National Signing Day, then had to cancel because it was National Signing Day?
Plus he can’t recruit?
Dump that fucker…
I’m with Hulk. Homeboy doesn’t have a calendar? Seems like he’d know it’s a significant date in his world and he wouldn’t make plans to cut out early.
If you need to find me today, I’ll be going to all the schools’ swimming offices to slap anyone who is 6’2″ or above.
I agree with Hulk…The Zadge is too good for a flake!
This guy is a waste of time. Very inconsiderate and apparently he is sure his needs, schedule, activities are far more important that anyone else’s. Not a good candidate!
I fourth what (the) Hulk says.
I fifth what Hulk says. And, I’ll buy you a drink for that — misery loves company.
That book cover killed me. I haven’t laughed that hard at someone else’s misfortune in a loooong time. Thanks!
Oh the Hulk nailed it. Don’t make dates on days you can’t make it. Period.
Also, to tide you over til the “REAL ROMANCE” starts again in January, aka Downton Abbey, you should be watching Upstairs Downstairs on Masterpiece. It is JJUUIIICCCYYY.
what an inconcise flake!
–>I’d move on too. Life’s too short to waste your time on a SwimFlake.
Now, snowflakes – - – go for it.
Really? Between Denver ABC news and SwimFlake (good name) , I am speechless.
LOSER. 100%. Zadge doesn’t waste her time on flakey game players.
Swimflake!
Wasn’t there a guy that wanted to go for coffee ’cause he had no time for anything else? This is apparently his brother. Ignore.