No, the Zadge is not in Afghanistan reporting on why a Marine General overseeing a grueling war has time to write 20,000 pages of “inappropriate” emails to some married military groupie in Florida.
No, the Zadge is reporting from the war zone known as Internet Dating.
You see, the Zadge was supposed to have Match.com Date Number 2 tonight, with the 6’4″ former-college swimmer. They were supposed to meet at 6 p.m. for drinks at a restaurant near the Top Secret Day Job. The Zadge hit the gym around 3 to get a workout in and be fresh for her date. Except that while she was working out, she got this eerie sensation that Mr. Swimmer was going to cancel.
Now, there is a bit of history with Mr. Swimmer. When the Zadge was on Match.com several years ago, Mr. Swimmer contacted her and asked her out. The Zadge agreed and then Mr. Swimmer never followed through with a specific plan. Typical for the dating war zone the Zadge was battling.
So when she saw his email this time expressing interest, she remembered him. And his flakiness from years earlier. But, she thought she’d give him a second try.
When she hit the locker room to shower after her workout she checked her phone. And here was the email Mr. Swimmer sent her at 4:30 p.m.
Wish I had traded numbers or emails with you….I dont think I can shake away so early tonight…I am the head swimming coach at [local school], and today is national signing day for recruiting…need to stay close to my desk for a bit….
The Zadge noted the ambiguity in his email – what? was he cancelling completely? was he running late? What?
The Zadge replied shortly before their appointed meeting time – all breezy and whatnot, that it was no problem! Hope you signed Missy Franklin! Let’s reschedule! Tomorrow night or Sunday night! Well, she didn’t really use so many exclamation points.
And Nation, here was
Mr. Swimmer The Flake’s response:
appreciate your flexibility…we got a no from missy. you can buy me drink for that.
Mr. Swimmer aka The Flake aka Ambiguity Man had struck again. So the Zadge is just sitting here, seeking cover from the drone attacks in the Internet Dating War Zone, wondering if she should even reply. Her instincts right now are no.
And she thinks she has a lot better instincts that certain 4-star Generals running our military and CIA.