The Zadge’s trip to Los Angeles to visit Cooper and the Cupcakes fell through. The weather people are predicting a cold, snowy and wet weekend for Denver. The last beautiful day of blue skies and warm temperatures greeted the Zadge this morning. What’s a girl to do?
Play hooky from the Top Secret Day Job and hit the hiking trails with the hounds, of course:
The Zadge and the Felonious Barkers basically had the entire mountain to themselves. They did run into one other woman and her dog at the top and she kindly took this photo of the Zadge and Bugsy:
Harry wouldn’t budge out of his resting spot in the shade for the photo op. Afterwards, Zadge and her boys hit a nearby local brewery and beer garden to soak in the last rays of sunshine with a cold beer:
As she sat and sipped her beer, the Zadge contemplated her dating life. And how all of her ex-boyfriends seem to resurface seeking to reunite with the Zadge after their marriages fall apart. And how the Zadge harbors no such reunion wishes. Some of you may remember when the Zadge blogged about the return of The Model aka The Blowfish and the return of The Golf Pro aka The Load, both of whom found the Zadge through Facebook.
Well, years ago, the Zadge blocked both of them on The Face, to ensure no further contact. She even took down her personal photography website after The Load tracked her down through that.
But, damn, these divorced exes are persistent. And the Zadge’s contact info at the Top Secret Day Job is, unfortunately, publicly available. A few weeks ago, The Blowfish left a voice mail on the Zadge’s work phone, imploring her to call him back and professing how much he missed her.
Missed her? The Zadge hasn’t seen the Model in almost 15 years! And, no, she didn’t return his call.
Then, this week, the Zadge received this missive from The Load in her work email inbox:
Hi… I hope you are well and enjoying life!
Just wanted to let you know that karma has come back on me – Deanna has left me for a high school friend and moved 5 hours away to Virginia, leaving me with my 2 sons and a pile of debt
I made a huge mistake with you and I am sorry…
Take care… Jackson
WTF? Does The Load think that the Zadge is going to just drop her fabulous Colorado life and run back to some bum-fuck town in the middle of nowhere to take up with an aging, debt-ridden dad with two kids who she hasn’t thought about in almost 20 years? Yeah, because that is dead sexy.
And what really pisses off the Zadge is how he signed the email. His goddamned name is “Jack” not “Jackson” – he learned (from the now defunct photography site) that the Shone’s name was Jackson and fancied himself that the Zadge named her angel after him. The Zadge contemplated replying only to set that record straight but decided to ignore him once again, as she has done so many times over the years.
LOSERS!
And speaking of losers, here’s the Match.com update. The Zadge has a date next week with a 44-year old, 6’4″ former college-swimmer, with a graduate degree, who is a voracious reader and pretty darn cute in his photos. She also has a date with a 49-year old oil and gas executive (widower) with two beautiful golden retrievers, who plays guitar and loves Keith Richards’ memoir and looks a lot like Jon Stewart but taller. The Zadge is sure they will both give good blog fodder.
Because the Zadge was planning on going to LA, she has no real plans for the long weekend. Just her, the hounds and her blue guitar.
Sounds like a country song.
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What a retard!
Times two.
I can picture you going MUST.NOT.SEND.SCATHING. EMAIL. I call one ex Gene Simmons, BTW.
How delicious that you ex’s are crawling back in shame! Keep us posted on the losers and their sadly pathetic attempts to get back with the fabulous Zadge!
See how well you’ve done on your own !!!!! YES !
Can’t wait for the date reports…it COULD happen.
I bet you thank your lucky stars EVERY night that you did not end up with either one of them. Good luck with The Swimmer and Ol’ Jed’s-a-Millionaire. Hope their actual names aren’t Harry and Bugsy. And sorry you missed the trip to LA. Another time.
Hah.
I am uploading pictures of me to eharmony as we speak. Good luck to both of us.
Well.
As an aging divorced dad who lives in a bum-fuck town I was wondering if I should be offended…
Do you have a pile of debt? And an enormous porn collection? And are you an alcoholic? If so, yes.
Well, I just paid off a huge loan so I don’t have a lot of debt. Since I have a nosy 11-year-old daughter lurking around my house I do not have any porn unless you count last year’s Sports Illustrated’s Swimsuit Edition. And I’m not an alcoholic. Alcoholics have to go to the meetings…
What is wrong with men? Honestly. Not you Hulk. You’re the exception that proves the rule, or whatever that saying is.
Harry and Bugs. Love those two.
Good luck with the new guys!
I’ve been missing from computer world for about a week because of a case of the stomach flu on steroids, enjoying me some India-style diarrhea and college-life puking.
And I’m happily back, reading all of your exploits and adventures – and I LOVED the blowfish story!! That was a new one for me. It made me think of my 20-year high school reunion where all the women looked fantastic and the men looked…well, not so good. Shit happens, I guess.
PS – You will NOT want to read my latest blog post. It will bore your knockers off. xoxo
I’m going to bookmark this to read if I ever get annoyed with my husband.
I realize I’m a little late on the posting of this but that was so awesome you went to Lizzie’s musical. I bet her heart swelled as much as yours did. The older I get, the more I know for sure that young people’s memories of loving, caring adults in their life never ever goes away.
We sobbed all weekend without you. Cooper just howled in the direction of Denver like he was in Les Miserables.