The Zadge walked into a meeting today to prepare for her Big Thing happening next week at the Top Secret Day Job and a man who she will be working with during the Big Thing – who has known the Zadge for over a year – said, “Wow. You look great. You lost some weight and changed your hair color.”
The Zadge said, “No, I haven’t.”
The man replied, “Yes, yes, you have.”
The Zadge didn’t realize that she previously was a fat brunette.
Yes, the Zadge has lost her Gelatinous Muffin Top, thanks to the beans, but really no one would notice except for her. And maybe Dr. Boy Toy, if he had known her pre-beans, as he has, ahem, gotten a peek at the general stomach area. And the Zadge’s hair has never been any color other than blonde her entire life, so she has no idea what the man was talking about.
But, speaking of the beans, get this: the Zadge is getting FREE BEANS! Shelley, who works at the company that sells the magic beans, PureHealth, found the blog and wrote the Zadge a nice email saying how much she enjoyed it. And she is sending the Zadge some free beans! And hey, those of you who have been taking the beans, are they working for you?!
The Zadge must run now to down some more beans so she can continue to waste away and keep dying her hair different colors to confuse her professional colleagues. HAPPY WEEKEND!
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Yea for free beans! I’m thinking of trying them after my surgery. Since I’m already a fat brunette, maybe they’ll turn me into a thin blond.
I have to say I’ve been taking the beans for a week, and many items of clothing are falling off of me!
But, exercise and good eating are part of the equation, too.
And Snooki, speaking as your poolside companion last summer – what weight are we talking about?
I started taking the beans last week. I weigh myself tomorrow, so hope they work.
Dear Zadge, will these beans you speak of really remove the gelatinous ness? At 5’10 and 132lbs I’m not heavy, nor my brother, but the bellyness is dragging me down.
You go girl! Congratulations on losing the muffin and snagging a hot young MD to check it out! If only we were all so lucky….
Where’s the BTB (before the beans) photo of your overweight brunette self? And who is the skinny blonde you must have photoshopped into every single photo of you since childhood?
I can’t imagine The Zadge being any sleeker. I’ve just started taking the beans! I take 2 once a day however the bottle says 2 once OR MORE before meals. Should I take more? Will I become a bean addict and get thrown in the pokey?
Cup, you should take more! Take 2 before breakfast and 2 before dinner. After all, I’m not a doctor but I play one on the blog.
Yeah well, lucky you to get free beans. I have been patiently waiting for my paid beans and they have yet to show up in the mail. They refuse to respond to email and have gotten mucho crappy customer service rating. If they ever arrive I will be sure to let you know if they work. Sigh.
Here is the story y’all, I follow Zadge and June Gardens and I reiceved the “magic beans” within a week of ordering them . I have not lost any lbs, but I can now wear shorts and not experience the ” camel toe” that I did last week. Sorry to be crude, but it is the truth.
The loss of the dreaded Camel Toe is a biggie, Tammy!! Yay!
I’m off to purchase the beans tomorrow. This fat brunette desperately needs them.
Shelley is very smart to check her analytics and find out that the millions of Zadge followers all clicked that link. I ordered them 5/26 and got them 6/5, which ain’t bad considering there was a holiday in there… I’ve been popping them like Skittles and washing them down with dark beer, and while I weigh exactly the same six days later, I do feel less jiggly. And it’s only been six days. And I probably should drink less beer and learn to drink vodka like skinny ladies do. Or that other strange and clear substance….water.
Oh, and congratulations on the major transformation of yourself, Snooki. I’m happy you’re steering clear of the tanning beds, too. Boys are so dumb.
I’ve been taking the beans for a week now (my hus and I are doing it together) and have seen no change whatsoever. No budge on the scale and my clothes aren’t any looser. I take one before 2 meals a day so maybe I need to take more?
Yes, Sarah T., you need to take more! 2 400 mg. pills before each meal!
Well I’ve increased the number of pills and still no change. *sigh* I guess not even magic beans can get rid of my GMT.
Me want beans…me can no have beans……me stuck with GMT………
There is something a little bit sad about the fact that I get caught up with what’s going on in your life on your blog VS in person, BUT hey, at least that, right? And, you make me laugh. So here’s a few comments on your life lately along with a few reports of my own:
Excellent that you have a Doctor inspecting your abdomen area! I’m jealous. OK, just envious which is more attractive than jealous, right? I say this, but I don’t want anyone inspecting my abdomen right now… it’s puffy and white, and it’s been a while since I’ve visited the wax Nazi.
I HAVE NOT RECEIVED the said beans thus far. They are paid for and 3 weeks late now. I hope to get them today after a call I made to Pure Health last week. I let them know that I was now behind schedule on my weight loss program, and it was their fault. I will report on any muffin-top melting as soon as I start the bean project. I sure hope they work because I cannot wear my expensive jeans right now, and I refuse to go to Wal-Mart and get a blingy pair with elastic waistbands for the interim.
I’m sober as a judge (that’s funny), and very bored with my new clean life, BTW. Drinking is so much more fun, and somehow I didn’t feel as old as I do now. It may be the new glasses (progressive bi-focals) that I’m wearing lately and admittedly love, mostly because I can actually see everything now. Sigh …
Questions: Did Bug’s go back to the clinker?? Is Harry sad? How the BIG thing going at work?
You look great blonde! I guess I missed the brunet phase? I did one of those once … I requested my “power” back from the hairstylist withing 2 weeks. I think you should wear a wig next time you see this guy and just F#$* with him. I agree with Penne, boys are really dumb. Can I get used to this fact and simply enjoy their “abdomens” for what they are??
I’m excited for you on the romance front – yay! Call me soon!!!
I’ve been doing the beans for a little over a week now minus 40-ish hours in Vegas over the weekend (woot!). I have definitely dropped some puffiness (earning the names tiny bladder & pees-a-lot!) but I don’t know if this is from the beans or the increased protein consumption or gymrattiness or the 40-ish hours roaming around Vegas.
Will continue taking 2 before every meal (I wound up w/7 bottles through various sources in prep for said Vegas trip) and see what happens.
I just have to say I’m thrilled to be riding on The Zadge’s Magical Bean Bus with all of you.
You guys are really convincing. I’m totally ordering those damn beans. And I’m gonna take 3 before dinner and 3 before breakfast. Cause that’s how I roll.
Just bought 3 bottles! BUH-BYE FAT ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just started taking the magic beans yesterday, so I will have to report back in a week.
I believe that the coworker who was suggesting Zadge had changed her look drastically was noticing something called Happiness and Getting Some. Women look a lot more attractive when they are happily involved in some canoodling.
LOVE LOVE LOVE your blog! I feel like I’m there living in your house and going through your life with you! You are incredibly funny, and I thank you for your humor and sharing your days with us.
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