You know the whole Urban Homesteader movement, where all these stressed out city dwellers decide to be sustainable, organic, blah, blah, blah, and grow all their own produce in their backyard so that they don’t have to battle for a parking spot for their big SUV at the Whole Paycheck?
The Zadge, an urban dweller herself with a big SUV, thought she’d dip her toe in that oh so trendy sustainable pond this summer. And ah, the late summer harvest of the crops she has sown:
This is her first green pepper plucked from the two plants she put in the ground at the beginning of summer. And, apparently, it is her last, as this was the only pepper that grew from those two plants. The only one.
Did I mention its size? Let’s get a little perspective:
Yes, my friends, Farmer Zadge has somehow developed a mutant strain of lilliputian peppers.
Now, on to the rest of her harvest.
Nothing like a garden-fresh tomato to capture the true summer spirit, right? Farmer Zadge eagerly awaited her new growth of tomatoes, after the first batch was ruined by the Wicked Hail Storm That Almost Killed Our Spinster Heroine. The Zadge pulled out the good olive oil and sea salt, readied the fresh mozzarella and chopped up some fresh basil, before heading out on her John Deere to pick the most succulent “Big Boy” tomato she could find:
That is not a cherry tomato. That is the best looking of the ironically name Big Boy bunch. With some sort of herpes sore. Farmer Zadge was so distressed she couldn’t even get the little diseased bugger in focus.
As she scratched the caprese salad from her menu, she hitched up her overalls, milked a few cows, then trudged back out to her crops, thinking a nice cool cucumber salad would do:
And doesn’t that just sum up her dating life?
This is the entirety of her bounty:
And by the way, that plate on which her dwarf, diseased, diminutive vegetables rest? A saucer for a tea cup.
Can you imagine what would have been the result if Farmer Zadge decided to go through with her idea to raise backyard chickens?
Oh Zadge, that is just sad. So sad, I think I’m going to send you a jar of pickles. Just cuz.
I know the feeling. I am just now beginning to get some tomatoes, and the “big boys” are sadly of the dwarf variety. And being eaten by the squirrels before I can get to them. I just plant veggies to feed the wildlife. The herbs however are doing GREAT so I am resigning myself to shopping at local farms for fresh veggies to decorate with my fabulous herbs.
A scene from the Wizard of Oz right as it went into technicolor…
“We welcome you to Munchkin Land
Tra la la la la la la la la la la la”
Count your blessings, I got “a” tomato this year. Apparently Roma tomatoes don’t do south Mississippi.
Are you gonna eat that cucumber?…
The farmstand continues to be my best friend. My tomatoes are OK but not as good as
what I’ve been buying to make stuffed tomatoes with breadcrumbs, parmesan and basil!
Oh my! Maybe Harry ate all the other ones? You could tell people that anyway… When in doubt, blame the dog!
It’s a great start! Well, just make sure you have farmer friends because you would starve!!
I feel for you. I planted 6 tomato plants, all of different varieties of tomatoes. So far, nothing has grown bigger than a cherry tomato. Actually, very little has grown, except for that one plant (which wasn’t supposed to grow cherry tomatoes.)
I would post something witty if I could stop laughing………………
I having some freak-ass growers guilt right now…I just carried in a load of tomatoes and peppers that stretched out my Tshirt-turned-harvest basket.
I’d share, but it’s a bit of a drive.
I also feel awful that I just posted a blogpic of the garden stuff.
–>WHAT?!
Oh my. Maybe the Zadge can work on her composting skills over the winter to amend the soil by Spring? That has done wonders for our garden.
Also, we water religiously and use miracle grown once a month. You saw our recent pictures of me canning jalepenos and this past weekend I deseeded numerous tomatoes and simmered them for hours with some homegrown peppers to make chili.
Salt in the wounds: http://instagr.am/p/Ky6jk/
You know plants need water. Did you water them?
2 words – Farmers Market!
OMG, how adorable!
You need better soil. Don’t give up.
Our crops look eerily the same. I had a month or so of some good stuff and then it all went tragically down the toilet. Oh the plants are huge. HUGE! They grew way past their cages. But as the old lady says, Where’s the fruit? (beef, whatever) I was wanting a fresh caprese salad so bad I went and bought some vine ripened tomatoes and just pretended they were mine. Time to make pesto.
hilarious! especially that first paragraph. the photos are excellent though. so i say, join me at my favorite little italian restaurant. i’ll bring the massive quantities of chianti. and chianti should not be sustained.
ps: thanks for stopping by. it’s so great to meet you out here in the blogosphere. loved your meet the zadge page. too bad we didn’t live nearer to one another. we have a ton in common. but get in line for daniel craig! ; )
Next year maybe less cow milkin and plowin and more tendin the garden.
I have a pepper that looks just like that. My tomatoes actually were bountiful, but then again, the plant was practically bearing fruit when I brought it home from Costco.