Monday Musings
- Is anyone else already utterly over the Royal Wedding?
- When the Zadge bought Old Vicky, the house came with a washer and dryer that are apparently as old as Old Vicky herself because in order to dry a normal load of laundry, the Zadge must run the dryer for TWO HOURS! So the Zadge must buy a new dryer, and probably a new washer. So my peeps, tell me what kind to buy! (And while the Zadge would prefer a top loader, the washer has to be a front loader no taller than 36 inches because of a shelf the machines have to fit under.)
- The Zadge was excited to go out Saturday night with her gal pal The Chilean. Unfortunately, as she walked out the door to get in the cab to meet The Chilean, she opened up her mailbox and found this muther-f%#ker:
WHAT?!!! I have to pay the District of Columbia $16,000, for taxes owed in 2009, a year I DIDN’T EVEN F-ING LIVE IN THE DAMN CITY???? What’s a girl to do? Well, this girl decided she was going to drink too many Pomegranate Martinis with The Chilean and her cute beau, Wayne Gretsky, in his uber-cool downtown loft and worry about D.C. seizing her assets on Sunday.
- So the Zadge wakes up Sunday morning, if you consider 11 o’clock still the morning, and discovers that all that hype about Pomegranate juice being the latest miracle anti-oxidant/feel good/health thingy is a bunch of crock. She’s sure the vodka mixed with it had nothing to do with the fuzzy head/eyeball hurt she felt. She got up and took one look at the FREAKIN’ SIXTEEN THOUSAND DOLLAR IMPENDING TAX LIEN and almost wretched. Again, couldn’t be the vodka’s fault. What’s a girl to do? Well, this girl decided to worry about the Nation’s Capitol seizing all her assets on Monday and hit the spa instead.
- Yes, the Zadge spent three hours at the Woodhouse Spa in Denver, getting an 80 minute deep tissue massage and an organic sugar scrub pedicure. With free mimosas. All thanks to Moomskers, who surprised the Zadge with a gift certificate for a day of pampering! LOVE YOU MOOMSKERS!
- Okay, so Monday rolls around and the Zadge now is sober, stretched and shined and she must face the $16,000 albatross hanging around her neck. Do you know what that means? The Zadge had to deal with the D.C. Government on the phone. You unlucky souls who live in D.C. know of what I speak. Two and a half hours of my day were sucked away sitting on hold for 29 minutes and 14 seconds (I kid you not), only then to have to deal with four different hostile and dumbass city employees before I could even get an explanation about why – two years later and out of the blue — I get a Notice claiming I owe income taxes to a city in which I no longer make any income!
- So maybe this isn’t really a “Monday Musings” post, but more of a “Oh My God, this erroneous Tax Lien just makes me remember how much I hate D.C. and I’m so glad I escaped and I’ll never go back” post.
- The long and short of it is that the Zadge in fact does not owe the utterly broken D.C. government, led by Marion “the Bitch set me up” Barry, any money at all! The Zadge thinks she will send its crack-addicted, tax defrauding, prostitute-loving nut job leader a bill for her time in dealing with this crap.
- The Zadge’s online dating travails continue. Several more suitors have expressed interest, including a 50-year old guy with a very receding line of gray hair, but a really pretty and skinny long gray mullet in the back.
- And speaking of taxes, the Zadge unexpectedly got a very large tax refund this year. She immediately put it all into savings. Except for that pit stop on the way to the bank where she bought this:
Just call me Princess Di Scaly Hands.
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Whew, goad you don’t have to pay those taxes. We were already taking up a collection.
Ugg, fat fingers, GLAD not goad.
For a second, I thought you were talking about my fingers and the ring! Not that your comment wouldn’t be accurate, but I can only handle the scales at this point.
I think I’d have crapped my pants if I got a bill like that. I’m glad you don’t have to pay it. … gotta say, though, it may be the Canadian in me, but I’d most definitely write a letter to the powers that be about that and include the amount of your time they wasted.
Love the ring!
1. No, I am not over-saturated with royal wedding plans yet. I am still very excited. Excited tempered with “Awww, I sure wish Diana were here for this” kind of nostalgia.
2. I love my Kenmore HE washer and dryer. They are the bomb-diggity. According to Consumer reports and to me. I have sold more sets of these appliances than any employee of Sears. They are honestly the highest quality, the most water, soap and power efficient machines made. Love, love, love them. I would not steer you wrong on this. Please shoot me an email if you want any details.
3. I lived in Chile for 3 years and it is more friendly and endearing to refer to women from Chile as Chilenas. Is the Chilean (Chilena) really from Chile or does she just love good wine, good seafood and gorgeous scenery?
4. No way the vodka did this to you, it must have been a very light case of the flu. : )
5. I would be happy to take that ring off your hands (so to speak) if you aren’t happy with bauble. It is gorgeous!
G’day mate. When you have a shonky docket like this, the sheilas argue something called the mailbox rule. Ok, now off the hit the turps. Let’s hope I don’t get too rotten. The liquid laugh is not desired.
1. Your ring would match my earrings and necklace – Yurman? I bought a new water heater yesterday with part of my tax refund!
2. Love my Whirlpool front loader washer. If you have a small space, I would do all my research on-line, the big box stores almost never carry that stuff and have to order it for you. Just to save you a trip, because appliance shopping is never as fun as jewelry shopping.
3. Here’s to spa scrubs, I just had a head to toe one and it was fab!
4. Zadge defeats the evil DC government! Hooray!
Comments by the numbers:
1. I’m so over it I never knew it even happened.
2. I typically don’t make washer/dryer decisions very well. Mine both look like those pickup trucks you see on TV driving around in Libya.
3. DC can’t seize your assets. Your title wouldn’t have passed escrow had your taxes been in arrears. Send the letter back with one line written across it. “Bite me!” But I did tease you just an inch about that in my last post – On Ducks Mahal. I slipped it in after you last visited.
4. Don’t ask me. You know I quit drinking – once – didn’t feel any better. You’d be remarkably surprised how hung-over you can feel without anything to drink.
5. Did you look like a prune?
6. See comment response 3.
7. I personally don’t care much for DC the two times I visited. I would prefer that Hackensack, NJ be our capitol.
8. Hold your breath waiting for a check from DC for your billable hours. They’re broke. Why you think they’re scamming you for $16,000?
9. Ah geez!!
10. Very nice, you should be a hand model. It matches your eyes.
–>I love our Bosch front loaders. If I knew what all the buttons did, I think I could launch us to the moon. There is a setting for everything you wish to wash/dry and it won’t ruin the items. I even did my cashmere sweaters to perfection.
Oh D.C., the city of my birth……….. they’re a bunch of crackerjacks. I had to get an original birth certificate several years ago and it took hours and many, many phone calls. Then I had to mail my money first.
I wish I had a salary like Zadge so I can just casually stop and buy some major bling on the way to the bank. Maybe someday when I grow up. Dear God, when will *that* happen?
I can’t wait to see what washer/dryer you get, because I have been wanting new ones for a while. The ring is gorgeous! I am only just now in my life learning to accessorize. We got a similar bill from the IRS for $ 95.00 but we really did owe it.
And lastly, I’m not super hyped about the royal wedding, I just like weddings in general and think those two are a good looking couple. Wish Diana was here to see them.
oh, and between you and me…DC can bite me, too! LOL
…sorry I get that confused, I keep thinking DC is just a city b/c I never heard of city employment taxers before. Actually I don’t want to know anymore than I do. I thought it was in arrears property taxes. My goof.
That ring is preeetttty
Royal wedding – ah – whatever!
Washer/Dryer – basically they’re all made by what 2-3 companies now? Consumer reviews and sales person knowledge – I personally like a good appliance store over the “big” places – I find the folks more knowledgable and willing to deal!
The martini’s sound good – so does the downtown loft!
Taxes smaxes – DC Sucks – The Man’s Man goes at least 3-4 times a year – he loves it – I myself will never forget a Friday afternoon spent on the beltway – DC sucks!
Moomskers rocks the present house!
And lastly – the RING – ah yes the RING – GORGEOUS and well deserved to yourself!
There’s a royal wedding going on?
80 mins of someone rubbing me down head to toe sounds like heaven. I’d settle for the pedicure. Talk about scaly, you should see my feet.
That ring is just gorgeous. You deserved it after all that tax crap stress. Why in the hell did they send the letter to you anyway? Morons.
Will the random similarities between us EVER end? As I type this I a waiting for a smallish load of laundry to dry that I put in about 2 hours ago.