The Zadge is super excited! She leaves the cold, gray depressing U.S. tomorrow morning for the sunny, warm beaches of Mexico!! I’ll be spending four nights at an all-inclusive resort in Puerto Vallarta. Just me and The Zadge, spending some quality one-on-one time getting to know each other better!
I’ve booked an ocean front room with a balcony. The resort has three pools, a spa, five restaurants, a gym, daily yoga, and a swim-up bar. Did I mention a SWIM-UP BAR!!!
My daily agenda will be as follows: wake up, take a yoga class, eat breakfast, lounge by the pool with a good book and the ipod, check out cabana boy who will be bringing me lunch, lounge on the beach with a magazine while checking out cabana boy who will be bringing me drinks, nap, shop, have a spa treatment, dine seaside and check out cabana boys, go to bed, get up in the morning and repeat.
With such an agenda, The Zadge can pack lightly:
I’ll need this beach coverup for when my pale white freckled skin has seen too much sun, which should be about 10 minutes after I get there.
And this is all I will need for the daytime:
But before I can don those, I desperately need this:
You do know that the fake tan camouflages the Gelatinous Muffin Top, don’t you? ‘Cause that whole Weight Watchers caper lasted about four days. Who has time to count points for godsake?
The aforementioned screaming white freckled skin cannot hit the beach without this:
The Zadge is trying not to check any bags, so is sure that the sharp-as-a-tack TSA will confiscate it from her carry-on bag because, while not a gel or a liquid, it is some sort of wet thing and it’s over 3 ounces. If I stick it in my underwear and mutter about eternal salvation with 100 virgins, I’ll probably be fine.
And of course, while the spray-on sunblock poses a serious threat of injury on the flight, TSA has no problem letting me bring on sharp, pointed knitting needles:
The Zadge is salivating over the prospect of being able to just read, and read, and read:
The iPod is a necessity – for working out in the gym, chillaxin’ by the pool or drowning out the annoying seatmate on the plane:
Now, it is The Zadge’s first trip to Mexico and she’s heard so many horror stories about people getting sick while they are there from “Montezuma’s Revenge.” Oh, don’t worry, say The Zadge’s friends, just don’t eat the salads, or the fruits and vegetables, or drink the water or eat ice cubes.
Say whaaa??? The Zadge EXISTS on a diet of salads, vegetables, fruits and ice cubes (duh, in her vodka tonics!)!! What’s a girl to do?
THIS is what a girl is to do – call her doc and get a prescription to cure the inevitable if The Zadge eats and drinks like she does in the U.S.:
So that is what’s in The Zadge’s suitcase tonight, along with a couple of summer dresses, yoga clothes and the 14 skin products that I religiously apply to combat my mortal enemy, aging.
Oh, and one more thing. My laptop! The Zadge is counting on the resort to have wireless access so she can blog about the cabana boys!